Home is ...

i’ll probably get hate mail for this post but i cant help it. i heard a story some days back that made me weep (well figuratively) for my home country. i was in conversation about the recent kenyan fuel wahala . i was like don’t these people watch cnn. in home country on three ocassions in a six month period, there have been fire outbreaks caused by people going a fuel siphoning from a ‘vandalized’ pipe. like clockwork it follows well known steps.

1. news about the vandalized pipe spreads
2. first arrivals make a killing by scooping and going off to sell
3. late arrivals get killed because a fire breaks out
4. police arrive
5. fire service arrives (optional)

the cause of my sadness was the story about a similar situation in ghana. a fuel tanker fell and it would be expected that the items above are followed to the letter but then its ghana , things are different here.

1. a fuel tanker falls and news spreads
2. police are on the scene to keep off miscreants
3. another tanker comes to the scene for a transfer of contents
4. no body dead

i don’t have to explain my sadness do i? my home country , my beloved naija, full of smart intelligent and aggressive people. a hundred and forty million strong and nothing still ‘werks’. the giant of africa. most populous black nation. ok i better stop here before the hate mail is upgraded to kidnapping for ransom.

once again i must mention customer service here. my dstv was deactivated and i called. the guy at the other end first greets me, asks my problem, gets my account number, asks me to hold on while he checks my account. he then tells me to flip the channel and inquires if i’m now activated. i was so grateful i thanked him and hung up. this took just about 10 minutes.

now here's the contrast: in nigeria (ok so they kidnap me? they’ll get nothing). you don’t dare call. you have to physically go to multichoice office and get into verbal wrestling (its our aggressive nature) with the people. when you have overpowered the sales rep by your eloquent argument (showing him the receipt of your online payment which for some reason they haven’t been aware of) and he finally agrees that you should be reactivated. even though the system isn’t updated you go home to wait. day one, you realize you should have gotten the sales rep’s number. day two, you think of the lekki-ekpe traffic to vi and develop a sudden reluctance to take the trip to the dstv office. day three, you have had to watch the match at soul lounge. day four you have no choice you head back to multichoice and finally you are back.

nevertheless , nigeria we hail thee. there’s no place like home. home is where the heart is. i rest my case